How can you coach your child for change and encourage them to be more responsible and resourceful?
Coach your child for change vs being too directive.
Coaching:
Encourages critical thinking, and resourcefulness.
Improves connection as teens feel heard, seen and understood.
Uses questions to invite conversations.
General Points to Consider in a Conversation:
Don`t interrogate or lecture.
Get curious as to what your teen is experiencing.
Give space to share without judgment.
Refrain from too many opinionated statements.
Be calm and avoid overreacting if your teen tells you something very concerning. You need to build trust so your teen trusts you with sensitive information without feeling condemned.
Choose questions carefully.
When teens feel heard and understood in a non-judgmental environment, they will open up.
Respect and trust builds more authentic relationships.
Your adolescents need you to:
• Let them fail and learn from their mistakes and still know that they are loved
• Allow them space to stretch their thinking and do hard things before jumping in too quickly. They need to build grit, perseverance, and confidence in their capabilities.
• Refrain from being on their case. The more you are, the less responsive they will be towards you.
• Let go of trying to control the things you can`t control (their behavior) and focus on the things you can control (your behavior)
They don’t want to ask you for help while you are always trying to help them.
Give them SPACE to think, explore, find solutions and be creative.
Sometimes you need to be invited in so encourage them to invite you in with a solid YES. Then they will be more open to your ideas and suggestions.
Questions you could ask:
Would you be opposed to me helping you with this?
Would you like to think up some ideas together about this?
There needs to be accountability with weekly check in`s and regular family times together to build trust and connection.
Teens who are not held accountable, do not have clear expectations or consequences, grow up entitled.
I speak more about these aspects in a parent support group: If you are interested in learning more about how to be a parent coach, and experience transformation in yourself, and your relationships with your teenagers, join a supportive group coaching community.
How would it feel if you could take a break from being supermom to the rescue and your teenagers could advocate for themselves?
Resources to support parents with coaching tools and strategies in preparing adolescents for life and career success.
"The purpose in the heart of man is like deep water but a man of understanding will draw it out." Proverbs 20:5
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